Kafayat Adegoke got herself pregnant through
deception according to UK Mirror. The 30-year-old
student set out to be a single mum and drew up
a wishlist of characteristics she wanted in her
child.
Then she set about finding a man who would
oblige by sleeping with her. Once, twice, or
however many times to get her pregnant.
But the “lucky” fella would never know all she
wanted was to become pregnant and that he was
being used.
Once she got pregnant, the “lover” was to be
dumped unceremoniously and denied any chance
of bringing up the offspring.
Kafayat, whose baby is due in June, is in a
lesbian relationship, insists she is not attracted to
the opposite sex and went hunting for partners
because it was cheaper than IVF or surrogacy.
She said:
“Ever since I was a little girl I have yearned
for a baby. I looked into IVF and surrogacy
but they both seemed quite expensive. I
also felt IVF was unnatural. “I thought
logically and what I needed was a sperm
donor and there were plenty of these
walking the streets and I could take my
pick. “I decided to pretend I was straight
and trick a man into getting me pregnant.”
With meticulous planning, she held off sleeping
with her new dates until she had thoroughly
quizzed them about their family background,
medical history and even their blood group.
She dated three men – one she met in Nando’s, a
jogger she befriended in a park and finally a work
colleague.
Last autumn, after a year of hunting for her
version of Mr Right, her plan finally paid off when
she got pregnant by a man she had been seeing
for two months.
Kafayat, from Bradford, West Yorks, then ended
the relationship and barred the “sperm donor”
from the child’s life.
Instead, the cash-strapped user of men is hopeful
that, as a single mum, she will get a council
house and benefits.
Kafayat, who is currently dating 26-year-old Aisha
Atan, said:
“I decided I would have to sleep with a man
and started to look out for guys that were
good looking and intelligent with a sense of
humour. I’d like my child to have all these
attributes. “I couldn’t have one-night stands
with strangers – I needed to date them,
find out about their medical and family
history to see if they were suitable sperm
donors.”
“I was with the last guy I dated for two
months but when I fell pregnant I ended the
relationship straight away. “My baby
doesn’t need a father, I don’t want
anything from him and I am so excited
about being a single mum. I am going to
speak to the local council about getting a
house and some benefits. I deserve them
like any other single mum.”
Kafayat realised she was attracted to women at
the age of 16 but experimented with both sexes.
She says:
“In Nigeria, where I grew up, people were
ignorant about gay people and I had to
date men to be accepted. “I would date
girls in secret but slept with two men – but
I always knew I was a lesbian.
“When I moved to London five years ago I
was able to date women more openly and I
had quite a few girlfriends.”
She recalled:
“One night in Nando’s I started chatting to
a guy. He was a 40-year-old property
developer – very good looking with blue
eyes. “He spoke very well and seemed
intelligent. I straight away thought he
would make a beautiful baby.
“We chatted and then swapped numbers.
We started to date but as I got to know
him I realised his personality wasn’t right.
He had no sense of humour. “I didn’t want
this passed down to my child. I didn’t want
him to be my sperm donor and ended the
relationship before we slept together.”
Last June, Kafayat took a shine to a 35-year-old
guy jogging in the park. She said:
“I was on a health kick and had started
running. He was tall and very good looking.
I started to flirt and he flirted back. “We
swapped numbers and started to date. He
was very intelligent and worked as a
building contractor.
“After a few weeks of finding out about his
medical history and family background we
slept together. “I was dreading this part.
The thought of having sex with a man
made me feel sick but I just kept thinking
about the baby I could make.
“I bought a DIY ovulating testing kit and
checked I was fertile before sleeping with
him. We slept together a few times.”
The pair dated for two months but when Kafayat
didn’t get pregnant she ended the relationship.
She said: “It wasn’t happening quick enough for
me so I decided I needed to move on to someone
more fertile.”
In September, Kafayat met her next target
through her job at the time, as a TV producer.
She said:
“He was a 34-year-old studio engineer, good
looking, witty and intelligent. “Again, I spent
time sussing him out and asking him about
his family history and even discovered what
blood group he was.”
This time Kafayat went to the doctors for a
fertility check-up and advice on how to get
pregnant quickly.
She said:
“I started researching the best sexual
positions to get pregnant in. It was difficult
because I was living a double life. I was
sleeping with women all the time I was
seeing these guys too.”
Kafayat slept with her new man twice before she
got pregnant.
She added:
“I was so happy I was finally going to have
a baby. I knew I had to end the relationship
but I did start to feel guilty because I had
grown close to him. I didn’t fancy him at
all but we had become friends. I decided to
tell him the truth, that I had used him to
get pregnant. He was understandably
furious and was shouting at me. “I said I
was sorry and made it clear I wanted
nothing from him and I didn’t want him to
have contact with me or the baby.”
A few months later Kafayat moved to Leeds
where she is now a student at Leeds Trinity
University studying film and TV.
She has told girlfriend Aisha everything and they
hope to wed.
Aisha said:
“I was shocked at first but when she
explained I started to understand. “She’s
my girlfriend and I love her and I hope to
be part of the child’s life. I will support her
all the way.”
It begs the question what Kafayat will tell the
child about the bizarre conception.
“I will say the father is a sperm donor and
not go into detail,” Kafayat insisted. “People
have been shocked when I’ve told them
what I have done – but it wasn’t easy for
me. I will never sleep with a man again to
get pregnant. I am happy with one child.
My baby’s dad has tried to contact me a
few times but I want nothing to do with
him.
“I don’t regret tricking a man into getting
me pregnant. All that matters is my baby.”
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